


Stares

by Sycophantism



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sycophantism/pseuds/Sycophantism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima transfers to Shiratorizawa. Yamaguchi doesn't understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stares

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sitting on my laptop for several months, so I thought I'd finally upload it. Angsty one-shot.

The look he gives them across the gym isn't smug, isn't cocky, isn't event confident. Yamaguchi would be hard-pressed to say it was forlorn, but it was the least expressive he'd ever seen his best friend's eyes in years. It didn't seem to the untrained eye that he longed to come across and see them, or that he missed them. But Yamaguchi could see it, in the way his stare lingered for so long, the way he couldn't bring himself to look at them openly and had to resort to long gazes from the corners of his eyes. 

His fingers are laced together at his front, and though his head is down, his eyes remain on the Karasuno team as it goes through its stretches. The subtle tilt of his face isn't enough to hide his features from Yamaguchi's view.

They haven't seen each other in weeks, not since Tsukishima transferred. He'd refused to talk about it, had pushed Yamaguchi away when he'd grown insistent-- angry. Frustration had led to outright anger, and it was such a rare emotion for Yamaguchi that he hadn't been able to express or handle it well. Tsukishima had to know that he'd just been afraid, but the blond had still left without reply. Yamaguchi suspected it was because he had no answers for the questions Yamaguchi was asking.

Why?

Why are you leaving?

Why are you going there?

Why are you letting everyone down?

Why are you turning your back on everyone?

Why are you abandoning the ones who believed in you?

A hand falls onto Tsukishima's shoulders and Yamaguchi tenses as sly eyes catch him staring, lips curling into a knowing smirk. Yamaguchi glares at him, unabashed, and grits his teeth from the overwhelming desire to punch the redhead. Tsukishima doesn't shy away from the touch, but Yamaguchi knows better than anyone else how much he dislikes physical contact, especially such casual gestures of comraderie. But he doesn't move out from under it and that makes Yamaguchi suspect that it had happened enough times that he's given up trying to discourage the third-year. It makes Yamaguchi's blood boil at the thought of the discomfort his best friend is going through.

Strange that he still tinks of Tsukishima as his best friend, even when they haven't spoken in months. 

Feeling a hand on his own shoulder, as though mirroring Tendou, Yamaguchi's head jerks up and he finds Sugawara's sympathic gaze on him. Dropping his stare to the hardwood floor, Yamaguchi shrugs a bit in response to the unspoken question, and misses the comforting touch when Sugawara moves away.

Looking up again, the tension sapped from his muscles, Yamaguchi watches as Ushijima strides past the two, who now speak quietly to one another; Tsukishima's stare on the ground, Tendou's intense gaze on Tsukishima's face. It's clear that Tsukishima's avoidance of meeting that look is intentional, and Yamaguchi knows that Tendou can see even that. It makes him angry all over again-- this time at the Shiratorizawa team.

What had they said to Tsukishima after the last match?

What had they done to him that had so quickly, so decisively, ensured his transfer? His-- his obedience?

Ushijima's eyes always seem to be glaring, and it feels that way when his gaze finds Yamaguchi's. Yamaguchi pours all of the hatred he can muster into his own glower, and Ushijima's stare remains impassive, distant, as though entirely disconnected from the brimming overflow of emotions afflicting Yamaguchi. It makes him all the more angry, and his fists are clenched tight enough to whiten his knuckles before Daichi's guiding him away with a firm hand on his shoulder.

Craning his neck over his shoulder one last time, he catches Tsukishima glancing at him from the corner of his eyes, and Yamaguchi's heart breaks for the boy. Like he can't help but stare at his old team, like he can't bear the sight of Yamaguchi walking away from him, Tsukishima doesn't look away until Yamaguchi is out of sight. 

Knees buckling, Yamaguchi catches himself on the wall, and immediately indulges the impulse to slam a fist against the wall. "It isn't fair!" he grinds out, a sob threatening to interrupt his rage. "What did they do to him, Sawamura-kun?" And, feeling his voice crack and temper with despair, he sinks down to his knees as he mutters, "What could I have done to change this?"

"This isn't your fault," Daichi says, and Yamaguchi feels a hand on his shoulder again. He's needed a lot of comfort, and his team hasn't left him wanting. "It was Tsukishima's decision. You're his best friend, not his keeper. Don't blame yourself."

_Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one qualified to be his keeper._ But Yamaguchi keeps that to himself. "He doesn't want to be there," Yamaguchi finally wheezes, feeling his heart clench as he squeezes hs eyes shut. "God, what can I do?"

Daichi shakes his head. He doesn't know, and Yamaguchi knows it. No one knows what they can do.

"I miss him," Yamaguchi says hoarsely, and Daichi's fingers dig into his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him.

Hinata appears briefly, freezing at the sight of them, then hesitating to flee. Yamaguchi looks away, tears of frustration burning in his eyes as he waits for the other first-year to leave. Instead, he feels Hinata approach and crouch down, reaching out to gingerly touch his arm. "I'm glad you didn't go with him," Hinata says after a moment, and Yamaguchi looks up, not understanding. "It sucks that Tsukishima left. But we've still got you, so..." Shrugging, Hinata doesn't seem to know were he was going with the train of thought and leaves it at that.

Yamaguchi nods distantly, not understanding at all, and looks down. They would've been better off with Tsukishima instead of him. 

Maybe... maybe he should transfer too. Go be with Tsukki. Support him. Anything to be by his side.

But Yamaguchi doesn't have the grades or the skill to make it into Shiratorizawa.

The tears overflow finally again, and Yamaguchi is distantly aware of Hinata hugging him. It's more comforting than he'd like to admit and he quickly returns the embrace before he can convince himself to pull away. There's nothing he can do, and he's never felt more helpless. Even when it came to supporting his team, he'd only been letting himself down. Somehow it felt infinitely worse to be letting Tsukki down.


End file.
